Tag Archives: Millville NJ

Jul
18
2025

How to Do the Work: A Book Review About Reflection and Work!

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I didn’t expect a book to hit this hard. But How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera wasn’t just something I read, it became something I worked through. This book helped me start healing in ways I didn’t even know I needed. I’ve always considered myself someone who reflects a lot, but this book pushed me to go deeper. Much deeper.

What stood out most were the questions at the end of each chapter. They weren’t your typical “think about this” kind of prompts. They were real, sometimes uncomfortable, and always honest. I’d find myself staring at a page thinking, “Do I really want to go there?” And then I would. And that’s where the growth happened.

Some of the reflections brought tears. Others brought relief. Many brought clarity.

Patterns, Triggers, and That Voice in My Head

LePera’s breakdown of childhood conditioning, trauma bonds, emotional addiction, and the inner child made things click for me. I started to see how old patterns were still playing out in my relationships, in my thoughts, and in the way I react to stress.

I tend to overthink, catastrophize, and replay situations in my mind over and over. This book helped me see that those habits weren’t just quirks, they were coping mechanisms. Protective strategies and most importantly, they were things I could actually shift with awareness and intention.

The Journal Became a Lifeline

I kept a journal next to me as I read each chapter. I wasn’t just underlining things (though I did a lot of that too); I was answering the questions, processing my responses, and starting to untangle the stories I had carried for years.

Prompts like:

  • “What beliefs about yourself did you inherit from your caregivers?”
  • “Where are you abandoning yourself in order to be accepted?”
  • “What would it look like to give yourself permission to feel safe?”

…these were more than exercises. They opened doors. Some I didn’t even know were closed.

Not Just for Therapists, Coaches, or Leaders

You don’t need to be in a helping profession or leadership role to benefit from this book. You just need to be ready or even curious about healing. LePera doesn’t sugarcoat it. Healing is not easy or quick. But her writing is clear, compassionate, and based in both research and lived experience. She gives examples from her own life that make the process feel human and relatable.

Final Thoughts

How to Do the Work is the kind of book that can be read slowly, with a pen in hand and a quiet room. It’s also one you’ll probably return to, especially as your awareness grows.

I recommend it to anyone who:

  • Feels stuck in emotional loops or unhealthy relationships
  • Wants to understand themselves better
  • Is ready to start journaling with purpose
  • Is curious about trauma, self-worth, boundaries, or identity
  • Just wants to feel a little less alone 

For me, this book came at the right time  and I’m really glad I was willing to do the work.

About the Author

Spike Cook, Ed.D., Principal, RM Bacon Elementary, Millville, NJ. In addition to being a Principal, Dr. Cook published two books through Corwin Press (Connected Leadership: It’s Just a Click Away; Breaking Out of Isolation: Becoming a Connected School Leader). He is the co-host of the popular PrincipaPLN podcast and a regular on the Unlock the Middle Videocast. His blog, Insights Into Learning, was recognized as a finalist for Best Administrator Blog by the EduBlog Awards. Spike earned his Doctorate from Rowan University and is an Adjunct Faculty member in the Masters of School Administration Program He is featured in Twinkl’s 30 Education Influencers You Need to Follow and Klear’s Top Ten Middle School Influencers. Dr. Cook is also on the Education Advisory Board for Whole Health Ed. Connect with @drspikecook via Twitter, YouTube,  LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram.

Jun
29
2025

Why Movement Matters: Building Resilient Leadership Through Motion

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In over two decades of educational leadership, I’ve learned something simple yet powerful: movement changes everything. When I’m walking, hiking, or even mowing the lawn, I find clarity and resilience. As leaders, we often carry the invisible weight of decisions, staff morale, student safety, and community expectations. That weight can bury us if we stand still too long.

Movement, whether it’s literal or metaphorical, teaches us to adapt, to breathe, and to keep going even when the path ahead isn’t clear.

When we build movement into our lives, we’re modeling something critical for our staff and our students: resilience isn’t about never falling; it’s about finding the momentum to stand back up again. Movement reminds us that change is natural, that growth is possible, and that our bodies and minds are connected more deeply than we often admit.

So what does movement look like in your leadership journey? Maybe it’s a daily walk before school. Maybe it’s committing to time with your family, away from screens and emails. Maybe it’s practicing gratitude while you jog or taking five minutes to breathe between challenging conversations.

Movement has taught me more about leadership than any textbook or workshop. It’s taught me patience, humility, and how to laugh at myself when I inevitably stumble. It’s helped me stay grounded when life feels chaotic.

I encourage you to find your own movement. Notice how it changes your energy, your outlook, and your relationships. In doing so, you’ll discover that resilient leadership isn’t something you learn once—it’s something you practice every single day, one step at a time.

About the Author 

Spike Cook, Ed.D., Principal, RM Bacon Elementary, Millville, NJ. In addition to being a Principal, Dr. Cook published two books through Corwin Press (Connected Leadership: It’s Just a Click Away; Breaking Out of Isolation: Becoming a Connected School Leader). He is the co-host of the popular PrincipaPLN podcast and a regular on the Unlock the Middle Videocast. His blog, Insights Into Learning, was recognized as a finalist for Best Administrator Blog by the EduBlog Awards. Spike earned his Doctorate from Rowan University and is an Adjunct Faculty member in the Masters of School Administration Program He is featured in Twinkl’s 30 Education Influencers You Need to Follow and Klear’s Top Ten Middle School Influencers. Dr. Cook is also on the Education Advisory Board for Whole Health Ed. Connect with @drspikecook via Twitter, YouTube,  LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram.

Feb
25
2024

Reflecting on a Month Without TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram: A Journey Beyond the Algorithm

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In an age where social media platforms dominate our digital landscape, taking a step back from the constant scroll can feel like a radical act of self-care. Recently, I embarked on a month-long hiatus from TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram, eager to reclaim my time and attention from the grips of algorithmic feeds. It was right after I turned 50, and was done with purpose and intention to see what the world would look like without this constant scrolling. What ensued was not only a personal journey of introspection but also a fascinating observation of the digital ecosystem that surrounds us.

The first few days were marked by a sense of withdrawal, an urge to reach for my phone and mindlessly scroll through endless streams of content. However, as the days passed, I found myself rediscovering the simple joys of life beyond the screen. I delved into books I had long neglected, engaged in meaningful conversations with friends and family, and even carved out time for hobbies I had set aside.

One of the most striking realizations during this time was the impact of algorithms on my digital consumption habits. Freed from the curated content of social media platforms, I found myself exploring alternative sources of information, including news apps. Here, I encountered a different kind of algorithm—one that tailored news stories based on my interests and browsing history.

Interestingly, I noticed patterns emerging in the news articles presented to me. Topics that aligned with my previous online activity were prioritized, reinforcing the echo chamber effect that algorithms often create. This raised questions about the role of algorithms in shaping our worldview and the importance of seeking diverse perspectives beyond the confines of personalized content.

Moreover, the absence of social media platforms highlighted the subtle ways in which these platforms strive to keep users engaged. I began receiving emails from TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram, notifying me of activity from friends and acquaintances. While seemingly innocuous, these notifications served as gentle nudges, tempting me to re-engage with the platforms.

Reflecting on this experience, I realized the power of intentionality in shaping our digital lives. By consciously stepping away from social media, I gained greater clarity about the role these platforms play in my daily routine and mental well-being. I learned to prioritize genuine connections over virtual validation and discovered the value of being present in the moment.

As I reintegrate into the digital realm, I do so with a newfound awareness of the algorithms that govern our online experiences. I strive to approach social media mindfully, recognizing its potential for both connection and distraction. By striking a balance between digital engagement and real-world experiences, I hope to navigate the ever-evolving landscape of social media with intention and authenticity.

In conclusion, taking a month’s break from TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram was not merely a hiatus from scrolling—it was a journey of self-discovery and reflection. It offered insights into the workings of algorithms, the allure of personalized content, and the importance of reclaiming control over our digital lives. As we navigate this digital age, may we remain vigilant, mindful, and intentional in our interactions both online and offline.

About the Author

Spike Cook, Ed.D., Principal, RM Bacon Elementary, Millville, NJ. In addition to being a Principal, Dr. Cook published two books through Corwin Press (Connected Leadership: It’s Just a Click Away; Breaking Out of Isolation: Becoming a Connected School Leader). He is the co-host of the popular PrincipaPLN podcast and a regular on the Unlock the Middle Videocast. His blog, Insights Into Learning, was recognized as a finalist for Best Administrator Blog by the EduBlog Awards. Spike earned his Doctorate from Rowan University and is an Adjunct Faculty member in the Masters of School Administration Program He is featured in Twinkl’s 30 Education Influencers You Need to Follow and Klear’s Top Ten Middle School Influencers. Dr. Cook is also on the Education Advisory Board for Whole Health Ed. Connect with @drspikecook via Twitter, YouTube,  LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram.

Apr
08
2021

Book Review – The Incredible Value of Employee Power Unleashed

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The Incredible Value of Employee Power Unleashed: How to Gain Competitive Advantage by Treating Your Employees Well. By Robertson Hunter Stewart 

Treating your employees well? Sounds like a novel concept but as many of us have experienced in the various organizations we work in this is not always the case. Fortunately, Robertson Hunter Stewart wrote this book to help employers, managers and leaders to take a more person-centered approach to dealing with our most precious commodity… people! 

Stewart is all about power to the people! He defines employee power as, “The power produced by employees with an organization which allows it to obtain and keep competitive advantage within the marketplace overtime.” 

In the book, Stewart discusses some of his past occupations (he worked for Euro Disney at one point) and is able to convey what it felt like to be valued and to be not valued. What he found from his experience and his research is a four point understanding for what employees want:

  1. To be treated well
  2. To work in a good atmosphere 
  3. To have the right tools to do one’s job
  4. To be paid well (p.23)

Stewart urges companies to put employee satisfaction as the top priority. He suggests that surveys, focus groups and brainstorming sessions are imperative for management to listen. Unlike a lot of management philosophies that put the customer first, Stewart challenges that notion by articulating how employees must be first. According to Stewart, “Employees are the internal customers.” (p. 49)

One of the  most critical chapters in this book is on training. Stewart presents a very easy to follow training protocol that will help any organization get the most out of professional development. He leaves nothing up to guesswork when it comes to training and it is clear that there is no guesswork. Employees must be trained in an on-going process that values constant feedback and recognition. 

The book concludes with a detailed overview on meetings. He starts out this section by asking one of the most important questions regarding meetings… why do we need a meeting? In order to hold an efficient meeting, Stewart suggests developing a clearly defined purpose. He then outlines a basic protocol that every meeting should have so that everyone knows the expectations. He also points out that management should take time during meetings to listen to the employees concerns, ideas and feedback. 

No matter what type of company you are in or what role you play, The Incredible Value of Employee Power Unleashed will be a great resource. I found the book easy to read and implement. I am quite sure you will too! 

 About the Author

Spike Cook, Ed.D., Principal, Lakeside Middle School, Millville, NJ. In addition to being a Principal, Dr. Cook published two books through Corwin Press (Connected Leadership: It’s Just a Click Away; Breaking Out of Isolation: Becoming a Connected School Leader). He is the co-host of the popular PrincipaPLN podcast and his blog, Insights Into Learning, was recognized as a finalist for Best Administrator Blog by the EduBlog Awards. Spike earned his Doctorate from Rowan University and is featured in their Alumni Spotlight. He is featured in Twinkl’s 30 Education Influencers You Need to Follow and Klear’s Top Ten Middle School Influencers. Dr. Cook is also on the Education Advisory Board for Whole Health Ed. Connect with @drspikecook via Twitter, YouTube,  LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram.

Jan
07
2018

How to Spread Gratitude at Your School

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Spike Cook, Millville, NJ

Over the last year and a half I have been dedicated to practicing gratitude every day. Yes, every day when I wake up I reflect on the previous day and identify 5 things that I am grateful for.  After identifying these 5 things, I incorporate them into my daily meditation. In short, this daily practice of gratitude has transformed my life. No matter how tough my day was, I know that I can find at least 5 things to be grateful for. Based on this transformative work, I began to initiate activities at my school to spread this unique gift.

My first step in spreading gratitude at my school was sharing my personal journey with the staff. This wasn’t easy as I had to display vulnerability in front of 150 educators. Fortunately, best selling author and Ted Speaker Brene Brown gave me the courage to be vulnerable as she said, “Staying vulnerable is a risk we take if we want to experience connection.”

Staying vulnerable is a risk we take if we want to experience connection. Brene Brown

It got easier to share my experience the more I allowed myself to be vulnerable. In staff meetings, I continued to discuss my gratitude journey. I talked about how it transformed my perspective on life. In addition, I worked closely with the administrative team and we spent time in each meeting discussing our own gratitude. Encouraged by the positive feedback from the staff and administrators, I sought ideas on how to spread the gratitude throughout the school.

Based on the feedback from the staff, we implemented a Week of Gratitude at Lakeside Middle School in the fall of 2016. During this week, we delivered blank thank you cards to staff and encouraged them to thank someone, anyone. In addition, we gave blank paper to students and also encouraged them to write thank you cards to each other or staff. What may have seemed like a benign activity turned into an incredible buzz throughout the school. Teachers started spreading gratitude on their own by buying each other flowers, sending anonymous gifts and candy to each other.  

Over the summer I reflected on the impact of gratitude. It was clear from the positive feedback that gratitude was having an impact on the school. I could tell because of the conversations with staff at the end of the year and how they cherished the way their colleagues were treating each other. Some of these conversations brought me to tears. Who would have thought that seemingly random acts of gratitude could have such a profound impact?

I decided to take the gratitude to the next level. At the first meeting of the 2016-17 school year I distributed blank journals to each staff member. I talked with the staff about how they could use these journals to write 3-5 things each day that they are thankful for at Lakeside Middle School. I modeled how I use the gratitude journal personally and professionally. I shared that sometimes it is easier to find things outside of the school to be grateful for so that I was going to start a specific gratitude journal for the school.

After distributing the journals, I asked the staff to write their gratitude list individually and then share it with their small groups. I then asked for volunteers to share with the entire group. One teacher shared that she was grateful for her colleagues because her personal life had become very challenging. She then connected it to the experience that some of our students have and how important it is for us to create a safe space for them. This sharing brought tears and validation that we were going in the right direction with gratitude.

The teacher planted a seed with me as she shared her connection with the students. Prior to the Thanksgiving break, I decided to create a process for staff to share their gratitude with the students and families.

Here is what I did

  • Developed a Google Form for the staff with areas for them to identify about 3 students, why they are grateful for them, and the staff name.
  • Sent out the Google Form to the staff and gave about 2 weeks for them to fill it out.
  • I wrote a general letter for the parents and left space to add in the individualized information from the form.
  • Over a weekend, I copied each student name, staff name and gratitude into the letters. I would recommend doing a mail merge. 
  • We then printed out and mailed 140 letters the week before Thanksgiving.

Here is what I learned

  • The impact of these letters was incredible. Staff reported that parents sent them thank you cards, called, emailed or even pulled them aside at an event to personally thank them for the kind words. Many parents took pictures of the letters and posted them on Social Media, and their friends left positive comments on the activity.
  • The staff received the activity very well and were appreciative that I provided the platform.
  • As the principal, I learned about the identified students through reading the comments about them from their teachers.
  • I decided that this needs to be done several times throughout the year.

Since the gratitude letters had such an impact on the school climate and culture, I integrated this into my professional goal for the school year to hold myself more accountable. I then prepared another Google Doc for December. This time I allowed the teachers to nominate as many students as they wished and they responded. We sent 360 individual letters to students the week before the Holiday Break.

Blessed with another surprise in the mailbox today! The Staff at Lakeside Middle School nominated a total of 326 students they were grateful for. My daughter was nominated for her many fist bumps and positivity! Thank you to Mr. Williams for the nomination and to Dr. Cook for the awesome surprise. Michelle Asselta, Parent

One day as I was walking out to my afternoon duty, a student pulled me aside to talk about the gratitude letters. He said he was very thankful that we sent out these to the students but then he asked me this question, “How can the students do this for the teachers? Is there a way you could create a Google Doc so the students could tell the teachers why they are grateful for them?” I thanked him and told him that would be the next step in the spreading gratitude throughout the school!

Spike C. Cook, Ed.D., Principal, Lakeside Middle School, Millville, NJ. In addition to being a Principal, Dr. Cook published two book through Corwin Press (Connected Leadership:It’s Just a Click Away; Breaking Out of Isolation: Becoming a Connected School Leader). He is the co-host of the popular PrincipaPLN podcast and his blog, Insights Into Learning, was recognized as a finalist for Best Administrator Blog by the EduBlog Awards.  Connect with @drspikecook via Twitter.